Trying to find the courage to think about number one for more than five minutes in the day is harder than many people might think.
I constantly find myself in a struggle between wanting to help others make their lives better and realising my own is straying far from the path that I had imagined for myself.
My birthday was just two days ago. During all the merriment and childish blowing out of candles on my cake I realised it was time to step up, get my act together and realise a few things. I need to begin looking after myself, I have spent too many years ignoring the fact that I have been pissing everything I have up the wall. This year is my year and I am taking it.
The career I had set my life up for is now on the back foot, although I am pretty sure we weren’t meant to be anyway. Now I’m left with many questions from all angles and only one answer to them all… “I dont know”.
That answer is hard for some to swallow, leaving them with he impression that I am condescending or disinterested. Far from the reality the I am living, I can assure you of all of that, in fact it is the polar opposite. I am in fact tearing myself up about what I am going to do everyday.
This drive to better myself from the point I am at now in life was actually what brought me here to this site. I needed a place to vent and be myself. My own sanctuary. Most of what I am going to write is just the rambling of a woman with no direction in her life, but for the first time I am able to control the direction in which I want to go… With no apologies.